It felt more like suffocating
But I could smell you
I could recognize your scent among my clothes
I felt like I should’ve been fine
Because I have you.
I’m trying to feel like myself, but I just drown
I remember the warmth of your back
And the way your hands felt on mine
I think of you to make myself feel better
But what happens if I don’t?
I think i’m getting better,
Then the darkness looms around the corner
Why?
Please leave.
I don’t find comfort in you anymore.
I don’t want to remember.
I don’t want the pain,
Or numbness.
When he’s around
I feel okay for awhile
Like nothing else matters
I want to feed him, and wrap him in blankets
I smother him with kisses
I feel more than okay now
He grabs me by my waist, threads his fingers through my hair
I can feel the love through his hands, through his lips
I can feel the passion
it’s natural, genuine
I feel like a goddess.
He helps me feel like myself.
I am Ev now.